Alexploring Scarborough Fair 2007
Having never been to a Renaissance festival before, Dani and I (yes, mostly I) couldn't resist an opportunity to get pictures to make fun of.

Every generation thinks they invented sex.  Not only were we wrong, but they apparently the sex swing goes back much farther than I would have guessed.

I don't see any crumbs in his beard, but clearly he's eating well.

I used a stand-in because it was sort of appropriate as an engagement portrait.

The pairing of these two may induce bestiality in some viewers.  You've been warned.

You could tell the way she was looking at me that she was horny.

One of the highlights of any Renaissance festival is the potential for spontaneous jam sessions.

Good job, St. George.  Here, now have a cold one.

Thanks to FOX News, we've come full circle.

First guy: Who's that then?

Second guy: I dunno, must be a king.

First guy: Why?

Second guy: He hasn't got shit all over him. 

I thought the chain mail outfits were kind of hot.  By contrast, Dani's idea of a "period costume" is carrying a purse and avoiding white shorts for about a week.

Believe it or not, it cost far less than I spent on all those Conan comic books in my early teens.

He was trying to get her to light on his knee so he could swat her.

Why, Clan of the Spiderman, obviously.

The boy had been warned countless times, but no one paid any attention this final time when he cried "Wolf!"

Even centuries before the invention of the internal combustion machine, this guy was already wanting to play an extra in The Road Warrior.

One of these things is not like the other.

Man, it's going to suck for them when they find out they're siblings.

Continue to Part II