|Why is it girls are always attracted to guys who act like dicks?|
|Take cover, Mel's shitfaced again. Oy vey!|
|It's poetic justice that a moth ate his pants.|
|Coincidentally, I use these as pet names in the bedroom.|
|Ironically, I caught him smoking.|
|See? You don't need a costume to look like a freak.|
|If you show off your tattooed ass, that's exactly what people will think you are.|
|I found something similar in the seldom-used vegetable drawer when I cleaned out my fridge.|
|Raisins? That's silly.
I say they should change their mascot to a bird of a different feather and call it "Cocks."
|Dog the bounty hunter and wife tend to associate with Riff Raff.|
|"Tell the Senate I'll be a bit late. Yeah, just have to pick up a couple new slave boys and stop off at the vomitorium..."|
|Those military recruiters are stooping to new lows to meet their quotas.|
|People say poodles are really smart, but it that's the case, why do they dress like this?|
|I swear, if I saw another Captain Jack Sparrow tonight, I was going to put a knife through a dead man's chest.|
|To answer your first two questions:
1) Super glue.
2) Eight hours.
Yes, I'm serious.
|Causal Fridays was discontinued at the local Asian restaurant following an unspeakable but inevitable incident involving hot grease.|
|Continue to Part V|