|Once again record crowds in Oak Lawn were
precipitated by through exposure by little web page. And thankfully
it wasn't rainy or chilly like last year. In a word: Perfect, same
as it is every Halloween, no matter what the weather.
Editorial: I take this same shot every year, and Black-eyed Pea never sends me any complimentary coupons.
|This is the one night of the year registered sex offenders can prowl the streets unnoticed.|
|I think the reasons why you were into He-Man and/or Elfquest as a child are a good litmus test for the orientation you arrived at later in life.|
|This is the polar opposite of that old
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her as an altar boy.
|No, not the Dixie Chicks. I did a double take right then as well.|
|I like how the guy in the orange wig is
like, "OMG! Is he looking at me?!"
The default answer to this question for anyone out in public wearing an orange wig anywhere at any time is "Yes."
|Lady: "...and then they ran back to their
flying saucer with the nipple I used to have right here."
Astronaut: "Don't worry ma'am, we'll get your nipple back. As soon as I come off break."
|Obviously this scene doesn't mean much,
so I Photoshopped it to make it more accessible to the Nintendo generation.
|I'm sure Marx would have something to say about the uneven distribution of mustaches. Groucho Marx, I mean.|
|If you count the cans in the background, this would almost be a twelve-pack.|
|If you know ahead of time you're going to have that much exposed skin, then there's no excuse for not having enough powder on hand to finish the job.|
|That wasn't the only time I got Flashed that night.|
|A couple hours into the night it dawned on her where the worst possible places were to get poison oak.|
|Looks like Captain Hook-Me-Up found some booty to plunder.|
|If you think I'm going to put the obligatory Viagra joke here this year, then you've beaten me to the punchline.|
|I'm not even a lion, and it confused me.|
|Continue to Part II|