Haunted Houses In My Neighborhood: 2008 Edition
Granted, my yard was pretty well decorated before people were even getting started on theirs, but I decided to scope out what the Joneses were up to and maybe steal some ideas from them for next year.

I like cereal and I like sushi, but some things aren't meant to go together even if they're good on their own.  I'm hardly the spokesperson for moderation, but this is just too much.

What is this?  Barbershop of the Damned?  Advice: Skip the lights.  They look fucking stupid.

I like it.  In fact, this house is the only thing Martha Stewart and I agree on other than that she's hawt in a witch costume.

As American as apple pie, baseball, and a midget mummy on your front porch.

Be sure you don't leave the head burried in the mortar when you pull off that house tick or it'll get infected.

Personally, I hate people who fence in their front yard.  Except around Halloween... and this guy's got the perfect black spikey fence for it.  If only I could talk him out of the lights.  Geez.

Some yards start off scary, then you add some spider webs and, look, you're done.

The only thing I hate more than xmas lights on Halloween are these lights on stakes.  Gag!

The Virgin Mary statue?  Now that scares me.

The fact that they stopped with just the spider webs makes me think this is less an attempt at decorating than simply an out-of-season webworm infestation.

Watch how the totally killer effect of the creepy carnivorous spider in the web is completely defused by stupid homeschool art project ghosts. 

The glowing hands are actually kind of cool, but setting a live black cat out front?  I bow before your genius.


The spider webs look more like Spanish moss which makes it look like some sort of antebellum home, but it's in my neighborhood, so the only things haunting it are antiquated water mains.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.  Oh, just knock it the fuck off.

Copyright 2008 the Ale[x]orcist.
Continue to Part II