Haunted Houses In My Neighborhood
After extensively chronicling my own Halloween decorations, I turned my camera toward the rest of my neighborhood and a little beyond it even.


A jack-o-lantern.  Yep, that's it, and it's a cardboard one on a stick at that.

Oh, but they've got their xmas lights up.  No, they aren't early, just really, really late taking them down.  Actually, they never do.  That's the scariest thing happening here.


Ghost parade.  This is cute, but why is the entire front porch haunted while the second floor only gets a tiny witch?

Yeah, baby!  It's Shatner time!


On the other hand, webs can be overkill if you have no idea what you're doing. 

Additionally, there ought to be a law that the xmas lights can't come out until after Thanksgiving.  This isn't peanut butter and jelly.  Some things should not be mixed.


Hanging ghosties.  Prominent enough that they don't appear to be half-assing it, but not so wild they attract droves of concerned Jesus-freaks.  It's a delicate balancing act Texans must walk.

A coffin?  Holy shit!  I'm so going to make me one of those!  This actually makes up for the paucity of other decorations here (except those stupid little eyes in the planter out front).

Pumpkins and scarecrows (far right).  That's it?  It's more of a celebration of fall than Halloween.  If we're doing seasons now, then I want to see bikini girls out here come summer.

I'm not one to show restraint, but this is just too much.  Stop it.  Just fucking stop it.

Okay, I'll do a 180 and admit this is pretty cool.  I actually buy the threat here as opposed to an inflatable cartoon Frankenstein's monster.

Simple but effective.  This is the coolest use of windows since that Amityville house.

It's a good start.  Hopefully more family pets will have died by next Halloween so we can expand the graveyard.  I'm willing to donate a cat.

Another inflatable.  I like this one (it's the one with the swirling leaves inside), but it's a lone diorama in a big, unscary yard.  Why even bother?

Somebody's going to be making a lot of pumpkin pie.

Again with the lights?  This is a trend I'm just not feeling. 

When I think of Halloween lights, they're either black lights or something with a strobe effect.  These have absolutely no connections to drug paraphenalia and therefore have no business being brought out on Halloween.


Webbing's cool, but the spider makes it work.

What's missing is the realization of the potential present in the balcony.  Maybe they lack the imagination for this sort of thing, but I'm seeing a full size scene of Dracula chasing a helpless female in a negligée lit by strategically placed rechargeable spotlights.  Who's with me on this?



Continue to Part II